For You, My Love
by Forever or Never
Summary: FIN. Haruka has been in the hospital for months and STARISH stopped visiting her. Tokiya left her for Tomo, and everybody forgot about her existence. So, Haruka made a long video about her feelings and disappeared, leaving someone to find her camera on her bed. When the video reached STARISH and Tomo, how will they react to her video? How will they react to her committing suicide?
1. Chapter 1

I originally got this idea from my dream and my other story 'Who Will Love Me For Me?'. So, I made a continuation in my mind and dreamt about it. It's technically a side story but I don't want it to be part of the actual story.

And people who read 'Who Will Love Me for Me' I need more reviews. I sound selfish, but I just want to be sure that everyone reviewed what they wanted.

Awkward/Crack temporary shipping. Not yaoi, but just an awkward one. It's only temporary; TomoxToki.

**For You, My Love**

**Two-Shot**

Haruka lied down on the hospital bed, glaring up at the pearl ceiling. Very few tears escaped her eyes as she vigorously blinked, trying to clear up her blurry vision. She inhaled a shaky breath, fanning her face to help stop the tears from forming. The pinkette recently found out that her now ex-boyfriend was dating her best friend, Tomochika Shibuya. It was surprising, really. She didn't expect her best friend and her boyfriend to fall in _love_. She thought that she was the one for Tokiya, but she wasn't.

Flashback

_Tokiya stared nervously at his now ex-girlfriend. He sat next to her, fiddling his thumbs. "I don't think our relationship is….." he trailed off, trying to find the right words to finish off his sentence. He stared up at the pink haired composer, surprised to see how calm and relaxed she was, ignoring the pain in her eyes._

"_Working?" Haruka finished, sighing sadly at the end. She saw the despair in his eyes, but she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, deciding to go on the last name basis. "It's okay, Ichinose-san," she paused, hoping that Tokiya would realize the change in their name-calling. And he did; he tensed when he heard her formal voice return for the first time in months but he soon relaxed when he realized he was with another girl, whom he called his lover. "I realized how unhappy you were with me." She whispered, pushing back her tears. _

_Tokiya remained silent, hoping this was the right thing to do. Once he broke up with her, he couldn't go back. But he was certain. "Y-yeah. I have fallen in love with another person…." He whispered, staring up into her lifeless eyes. "Tomochika Shibuya."_

_Haruka didn't gasp or do anything. She just nodded, listening to him. When he didn't continue, she smiled up at him. "My best friend, eh? Well, it's alright. If you're happy, I'm happy, Ichinose-san. I'm sorry I wasn't able to make you happy." She mumbled, her voice cracking. She pulled her hand back and ran it through her once silky hair. "Alright, I think it's best for you to leave. You have a date in a few minutes, ne?"_

"_How did you know about that?" Tokiya asked, excitedly. He thought she was okay with his decision, but she wasn't. She wanted him to come back and whisper 'I love you' over and over again in her ears. But he didn't. Instead, he got all jittery and excited about their date with another woman. "Did Tomo-koi tell you?"_

_Haruka winced to the sound of the nickname, unnoticed by the ignorant idol before her. He never added '-koi' to her name, and she waited for it. But he never uttered that word to her. "Yeah," she breathed, "Tomo-chan told me all about the date, but didn't tell me it was you. Well, our relationship goes down to friends, doesn't it?"_

"_Yeah," he sighed happily, relieved with his decision._

"_Okay, how about this; I'll stop loving you from here?" she offered, hoping for an answer from the blunet. Said teen nodded, shaking her hand._

"_Deal, best friend." He accepted, bowing._

"_Deal." She agreed, her eyes filling up with pain._

_Tokiya got up and waved, "Thanks so much, Haruka."_

"_No problem, Ichinose-san! I hope your date goes well!" she said as cheerfully as she could. Once he closed the door, her fake smile immediately faltered as she sighed sadly, planning her death._

End of Flashback

Haruka continued to stare at the ceiling. "When am I leaving?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. She has been in the hospital for over six months and she still hasn't been released. "I'm just going to shrivel up and die in here, aren't I?" she mumbled, draping her arm over her eyes.

She sighed for the umpteenth time in her life, "Even sighing is starting to get boring…" she whispered. Then, she thought about her plans of committing suicide when Tokiya was still around; 3 months ago. And within that time frame, the rest of STARISH didn't visit her.

Tomo had become their composer since Haruka was still too ill to compose songs and STARISH sang them much more enthusiastically as if Haruka never existed. To be honest, Tomo's songs weren't that unique and special like Haruka's. They didn't contain the 'Happy Pulse' like hers. Saotome told Haruka to quit composing due to her illness. But sickness didn't stop her from writing new songs. This time, they weren't as upbeat and lovey as before. Instead, they were filled with angst and sadness, bringing tears to eyes. She even made her own individual song.

She started to repeat some lines in her mind until she got them perfect. It took her about an hour to say the sentence in her mind since she kept on drifting off to Tokiya but she still nailed it.

"I realized that my love for you will never be reflected." She recited, smirking sadistically. She took out her camera and set it on the table ahead of her, capturing her face. She pressed record and started, sighing a deep sigh. "Hi, guys…"

XXX

2 months after Haruka's recording….

Tomochika briskly walked down the hospital to visit her best friend. It had been months since STARISH and Tomo had seen her, but they were busy with their schedule and Tomo was excited to talk to her (or to blab on and on about how great Tokiya is). Then again, Tomo and Tokiya filled their breaks with each other. Seeing each other every single second. Spending time with each other every single second. They were never seen apart from each other. Well, that's because Tokiya stuck to her like a leech and mumbled tiny comments about Haruka.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Tomo called to the nurse standing in the hallway. The nurse turned to her and smiled, "Do you know where Nanami Haruka is being hospitalized?"

"Oh, yes, room 384 on the third floor." The nurse replied, pointing to the elevator that separated the two friends from seeing each other.

"Thanks!" Tomo replied, racing towards the elevator. She jabbed the 'up arrow' button until the door opened. She walked in and pressed the number '3' button. She waited, impatiently tapping her foot against the floor.

-Ding-

The little alarm brought her back to reality as she sprinted down the hallway to room number 384. She slammed the door open and yelled, "I MISSED YOU!" but got no reply. Tomo opened her eyes and saw the room completely empty. But on the bed was a little camera and a note. "What?" she whispered, stomping towards the items that collected dust on the bed. The room smelled as if it hasn't been used in months. How come the nurses didn't notice her absence? "Where is she?!"

She picked up the note harshly, digging her nails into it, creating dents. "Tomo-chan, please don't listen to the recording without STARISH by your side. – Haruka." Tomo read out loud, her eyebrows arching up in curiosity. "What does she mean by that?" she mumbled, picking up the camera. "I guess I won't find out until I show my boys this thing." She walked out of the room with the two items in her hands and made a beeline to the Master Course where the famous boy band waited.

XXX

"Minna-san!" Tomochika squealed, bursting through the door. Surprisingly, everybody was gathered in the main living room, either sipping tea or casually talking. The maroon haired girl immediately hugged Tokiya, who awkwardly hugged back.

Recently, both of them haven't really hung out and Tokiya was sulking about how awkward their relationship has gotten. He wasn't able to be himself anymore since Tomo demanded him to act like HAYATO whenever they hung out because he was more playful that way.

"Yes?" everybody replied, raising a brow. Tomo raised the camera in the air and spun around.

"Found this in Haruka's hospital bed when I visited her. She was missing." Almost everybody spewed their tea out or choked on their own spit.

"WHAT?!" they screamed in surprise, rising out of their seats. Tomo shook her head and demanded that they had to sit down.

"Yeah, so I wanted to show you the video clip." She replied, plugging the camera into the TV for a bigger display. "It's easier for everybody to see." She answered their unasked question. Everybody nodded.

After testing the camera for a few moments, the video finally appeared on the screen. STARISH and Tomo sat back as if it was a little song for them, but they weren't expecting this.

Haruka's tired face was on the screen as she smiled a fake smile at the camera. "Hi, guys…by the time you got this video, I'm either dead or dying." She paused, expecting Syo to scream 'what?'. And he did.

"WHAT?! WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY THAT?!" She was only expecting Syo to scream it out, by Masato and Otoya joined the short blond.

"Shh!" Ren scolded them, staring anxiously at the screen.

"Yeah, I predicted that you guys weren't going to visit me so I'm probably dead right now. I'm guessing that it has been a month-"

"Two months," Tomo interrupted in a guilty voice, only to be shushed by Tokiya.

"-since I recorded this video. **(Prepare for a killer paragraph. My writing style might be different)** *sigh* Really, I wasn't expecting any more visits from you guys. But that's totally fine!" she reassured with a fake sweet tone, "I mean, I had a lot of time to spend with myself and I was quite happy. Even though I was told to quit composing because the chances of me returning was like, zero percent, I still composed some songs for you guys. I don't know if you guys got it, but they're under the hospital's mattress. Don't bother to get it, they're probably infected by the mold growing under there." Haruka shuddered, sighing. "Okay, here goes my long speech. So get comfy." She urged with a fake smile. She patted her thighs, brushing her hair away from her face. "I think that I don't have a purpose. Literally; I have been sitting on this stupid bed for over seven months. I haven't gotten out. You guys didn't notice since you never visited me. But don't feel bad, you're very busy. Anyways, I think that you guys have forgotten me. Think about this, when the last time you have thought about me?" she paused, crossing her arms and humming, "Yeah, a long time ago. I thought you guys were going to come back for me, to reassure me with soothing words that would encourage me to write more songs for you. But you didn't. You didn't come back, you didn't even think about me. I'm quite ashamed." She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "But, I can never stay mad at you. Because I probably won't be alive when this video reaches you."

Quartet Night walked by, hearing the noise erupt from the living room. "Nani? What's this?" Reiji asked, joining their kouhai's. He sat down next to Otoya and leaned forward, watching their composer talk. Ai and Ranmaru sat down, too, while Camus remained standing.

"I'm sorry to say this but, *sigh* I'm going to commit suicide." She cocked her head to the side while everybody gasped in shock. "Well, I might get HEAVENS' help, which I'm sure they'd be glad to help." Tokiya tensed. Haruka stared at the camera and shook her head, "I no longer have a reason to live. I mean, you've got a wonderful composer who cares for you and your lives are complete without me. Just think about all the freedom you have without me. No 'me' running around, getting lost in the most general areas. No 'me' to remind you of your already busy schedule. No 'me' to greet you good morning. No 'me' to compose your songs. No more Haruka."

Tomo pressed pause as everybody started to think about her statement. No more Nanami Haruka. No more cheerful smiles to make their day. No more wonderful songs composed by Haruka. No more finding Haruka in the most open areas.

For STARISH, they had a lot of fun searching for Haruka in the park, in the woods, in the city, in a store, in some street, anywhere. Her presence brought liveliness and joy to the place. But now Haruka is….gone.

"It really is a bit lonely without her here…" Masato commented, tapping his chin as he recalled every memory with her. She had helped him with his acting even though she didn't partake in them.

"How could we ever forget about her?" Otoya mumbled, feeling the guilt wash over him. He remembered the haunted house and how he got to hold her hand and walk through together. It was very romantic and scary at the same time.

"She's gone…." Ren growled, clenching his fists. For him, Haruka brought him hope when the modeling building lost power. She was there for him. Without her song she made for him, the modeling shoot would have been disastrous.

"Why would she ever think that…" Syo trailed off, getting lost in his thoughts. He saved her life when she was about to fall a hundred feet down to the ground. She cried into his shoulder as he held her tight, promising that he'd never let go.

"…we'd be free without her?" Natsuki finished, remembering how she helped him throughout his photo shoot. She was cheering him on, Syo standing beside her.

"She made time for us. She ignored her needs to fulfill ours…" Tokiya whispered, staring blankly at the screen. Now he realized – he was still in love with her. But it's too late to turn back now. Haruka's dead, or dying.

"Man, I feel so bad for stealing her man." Tomo sighed, patting Tokiya's back. "We're through." She deadpanned, smiling. "No hard feelings?"

Tokiya looked up at her and smiled. "No hard feelings." He agreed, shaking her hand. He felt a wave a Déjà vu wash over him as he shook her cold, manicured hand. It wasn't warm as Haruka's hand. It wasn't as small as Haruka's hand. It wasn't as fragile as Haruka's hand. Nobody could replace Haruka.

Tomo un-paused it, "I watched you guys on TV and I realized how happy you are. It's like you've left me for someone else. And you did. I feel as if I was just some toy that only satisfied you for an hour and then you threw me away. But I distanced myself from you so that it seemed that I never existed. I bet you like that feeling. And I do, too. I'm confused with myself. I don't know anything anymore." The girl shook her head, "all I know is that nobody cares about me anymore. Obaa-san passed away while I was in the hospital, but you guys never came to console me. I yearned for love and care and that feeling of being content in someone's arms. But that never came true." Haruka's piercing words struck their hearts as she nearly whispered the words, "I waited. And waited, for your visit. That, too, never came," Haruka laughed humorlessly, "I somewhat deserve it. I mean, look at all the trouble I have caused you. I got into a stupid accident and you guys had to stay at the hospital until I woke up. I get lost often, making you guys look for me as if it were some kind of hide-and-seek game. I bet you're tired of me."

"No." everybody whispered, including Quartet Night. They all stared at the screen, waiting for her to continue.

"I'm tired of living!" she screamed, a fire of anger rising in her soul. "I'm tired of waiting for you, I'm tired of waiting for someone to love me, I'm tired of smiling for you, I'm tired of _living_." Her sudden change surprised everybody. Haruka yelled for the first time in her life. Tears streamed down her face, causing tears to prick everybody's eyes. "I'm tired." She whispered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "*sniff* I guess I'm going to do the personal messages starting off with Shinomiya-san." She paused, wiping her nose with a tissue. "I really admire your happiness, not giving a care in the world. I love the way how you keep on baking even though you're not the best at it. I really will miss you but don't be sad now." She scolded, "This is the time to rejoice about my death."

"WHY?!" Syo screamed at the TV, abruptly standing to his feet. His hands were balled up into fists as tears rolled down his cheeks. "Why would we be happy?" he growled, plopping down next to Natsuki.

"Jinguji-san," she started once again, a faint smile appearing on her lips, "Try to stick with one girlfriend, alright?" many awkward chuckles erupted from everybody as Ren's cheeks turned pink. "Okay, let's get serious. I really love the way how you used to display your love for me. I bet that feeling towards me died down a long time ago. I mean, look at me!" Haruka spread her arms apart and gestured to her model-like form. "I'm ugly as *cough cough* no time to say cusses. Anyways, I hope you will continue to love someone else the way you used to love me." Haruka giggled, some tears escaping her eyes. "I'll miss you so much." She whispered, sniffling.

"My love for you will never die down…" Ren mumbled, a tiny tear leaking from his eyes.

"Ittoki-kun," she announced, gaining everybody' attention. "Your energy gives me energy, even though I haven't seen you in a while. I see you on TV sometimes, but just watching you sing someone else's songs break my heart, even though it's Tomo-chan that's writing your songs. I noticed how energetic you are. It's like my songs weren't enough. And I know it wasn't. I'm sorry for bringing you down at the beginning of the year. You had to be stuck with some wimp that didn't know how to read music." She sighed, wiping her eyes, "I'm sorry that my songs weren't enough for you." She whispered.

"B-but…" Otoya started, sniffling loudly. The red head started crying ages ago to her somewhat touching words. "You were never a bother…." He trailed off, tears brimming his eyes. He tried to blink them away, but they kept on coming.

"You were like an older brother to me, comforting me whenever I needed it. And I really appreciate it. Thanks so much." She air-blew a kiss to him, blushing. Otoya blushed too after gaining a few glares of jealousy. "Syo-kun, I love your high temper. It always makes me laugh," Haruka giggled, slightly covering her mouth with her finger tips, "Your energy lights up my day. Whenever I'm sad, you just have to walk by with Natsuki chasing you, screaming your lungs out," everybody snickered, "and that makes me smile. You may not even realize it, but you're getting taller." By now, everybody started bursting out in laughter, even Haruka and Syo. Syo never laughs about his height, never. "Okay, I'm sorry." Haruka said between chuckles. "I hope you grow into a wonderful man."

"Y-yeah…." Syo blushed, looking away. "Thanks I guess." He mumbled, adding a small 'bless my height' after his sentence. The tears kept on coming even though he was lightly smiling. "You always make me smile…" he sighed in contentment, leaning back as he stared sadly at the screen.

"Hijirikawa-san, please don't destroy Jinguji-san's brain cells." Haruka giggled, "I know how much you've whacked the poor man. And I know you're trying your best to protect me. Thanks, I appreciate that." Haruka inhaled a deep breath. "I love your commitment for something. Sticking to your traditional ways. I love it. I've always wanted that kind of discipline, but I would always get embarrassed from being myself. It may sound weird now, but think about it later. Try to be yourself sometime." She suggested, shrugging. "You shouldn't care about other people's opinion. You are you, and that's what matters." She laughed.

Masato blushed as he took Haruka's information. "…..Nanami could make the angriest person happy…" Masato sighed as he shook his head, sipping his tea lightly. Tears pricks his eyes and plopped down into his tea, but nobody really cared. They were all crying inside or outside. And it was evident.

"Ichinose-san…." Haruka sighed, taking a deep breath. Tokiya winced as he looked away in shame. "I really hope you're happy right now. Don't blame yourself over my decision. It's my life, I get to do whatever I want to do with my life." Haruka snapped. After she glared at the screen for two seconds, she calmed down and closed her eyes. When she opened them, everybody gasped. Her usual happy eyes were now dead with a dull color of yellow. Bags have formed under her eyes and her irises were dead. "I know that you're happy with Tomo-chan. Please stay with her if she's the source of her happiness. If you broke up, I'm sorry for mentioning it." Haruka sighed, running a hand through her hair. "If you regret your decision, it's too late to turn back."

"I'm so sorry…." Tokiya growled at himself, punishing himself by biting down on his lower lip.

"Gomenasai, Ichinose-san. I broke our promise." Those words uttered by Haruka immediately got his attention. His lowered head immediately shot back up as he stared at the screen. "When you broke up with me a few months ago, I promised that we'd just stay as friends, correct? Well, about that, I'm still in love with you." Just by hearing her say the word 'love' brought relief to Tokiya. He sighed, smiling slightly when he heard her confess. "I'm terrible for breaking our promise, but I couldn't help it. No matter how many times you stabbed my heart, I couldn't hate you. No matter how many months passed, I still yearned for your touch. But I'm so sorry."

"For what…?" he breathed, staring intensely at the screen. Haruka fidgeted as she stared back at the camera. It was as if they were staring at each other.

"I'm so sorry for not fulfilling your wants. I wasn't able to make you happy when you were with me. Rather, I forced you to stay with me. I just wanted you to love me back." She cried, burying her head in her hands. "I just wanted to feel loved by you. Instead, you backstabbed me!" she screamed, her words stabbing his heart.

Tokiya started to cry, "I'm so sorry." He whispered, unheard by everybody else. "I'm so so sorry. I was just blinded by love…."

"I just wanted someone to love, embrace, and care about me." Haruka whispered, bringing up her head. She wiped her eyes but tears kept leaking out. "Tomo-chan, please make him happy. You're the only one who can make him happy because he doesn't love me anymore."

"YOU'RE WRONG, HARUKA!" Tomochika screamed at the screen, even though the girl couldn't hear her. "He still loves you!"

"Please, that's the only thing I ask of you, make Ichinose-san happy. I wasn't able to do that, so please make him happy. Please." She requested, her pained expression bringing tears into everybody's eyes. "And everybody, I want you to remember me. That's my last request." She mumbled, covering her face. "Before I go, there are two things I have to do. One; a song. I made myself a song called Maigo no Kokoro a few days ago. I have it recorded since I can't sing in my state." She chuckled bitterly, bringing out her iPhone. She pressed Play and her high pitched voice began. **(It's called MAIGO NO KOKORO, I can't put the lyrics up since I'm too lazy)**.

After the song ended, everybody gawked at the screen. Haruka was blushing, "I know, I still have some work to do on it…"

"That was perfect." Ai deadpanned, surprising everybody. Well, the rest of Quartet Night agreed with him.

"Yeah, what a beautiful voice…." Reiji sighed, staring at the ground.

"Okay, second thing. Tokiya-kun," she called out in a soothing voice. "I love you." She mouthed, smiling genuinely. "Goodbye, everybody." She whispered, turning off the camera.

The TV turned black as everybody sobbed together. They were all ashamed of their actions, especially Tokiya. He had caused her to end up like this. He was the one who made her the way she was. He was the one who made her die.

But what they didn't know was that she was staring at them from afar, a bitter smile plastered on her lips.

XXX

Next chapter will be out soon. XD

Please leave a review, you don't have to since this is a two-shot. See ya guys later!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello there. I know, I left a message earlier how I won't be able to update in a while since this computer I'm working on (it is not fixed) crashes every single time I press 'Control plus S'. It spazzes out and freezes, and takes ten minutes to return to its original state. So, I will try to update only on my sister's laptop, not this stupid computer.

Anyway, that's enough ranting. Thanks so much for the reviews, favorites, follows, and all that awesome stuff! I was so happy when I reached ten reviews for one chapter because that's like the most reviews I got for one chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own UtaPri and never will unless I beg Miyano Mamoru for it until he accepts. MWAHAHA! **VERY OOC!**

**For You, My Love**

**Two-Shot**

Haruka stood in front of the Master Course building with a twisted grin plastered on her lips. Three boys hid in the forest next to the dorms, waiting for their cue. Cat-like eyes stared at the large building, as did hazel and purple eyes. Haruka's once warming eyes were dark and mysterious, sending shivers up someone's back just by looking at them. "Here it goes…" she whispered, her voice lower and bolder than before.

No more goody-two-shoes Haruka. Hello, rebel Haruka. Welcome, Haru the bad girl. No more innocent looks, no more perfect mouth. No more Haruka. The pinkette had changed her clothes in dark skinny jeans and a blood red shirt that hugged her figure. Her attire told everybody that the good girl Haru disappeared and_ the_ badass replaced her.

Haruka smiled innocently at the door and knocked as hard as she could, creating a dent in the wooden door. It felt like her hand has been stung by a million bees when she knocked on the door. Bruises started to form on her knuckles, but she ignored the pain, since she was used to it. Mentally, emotionally, and physically used to pain.

She waited for ten seconds, hearing the shuffling of feet against the red plush carpet. "I got it." A feminine voice started, the voice getting clearer as the woman approached the door. Haruka could hear the woman sniffle and smirked evilly. But when the former composer heard the person approach her, the smirk immediately disappeared. "Hello-" the door swung open as a maroon haired girl started. Shibuya Tomochika's jaw dropped as she stood in front of the new Haruka.

A few seconds passed and STARISH started to come over by her side, "Tomo, what's wro-" Tokiya started, but cut himself off when he locked eyes with Haruka. Five boys appeared behind the blunet and also froze when they saw their ex-composer in front of them.

Haruka felt a pang of guilt when she saw their tear-stained cheeks but shrugged it off, ignoring the feeling in her stomach. She walked in, accidentally bumping shoulders with her friend. Her waist length hair swished as she calmly walked in front of them. "Nanami….." Otoya mumbled, being the first to speak. Haruka didn't respond. Instead, she stood in front of them, almost emotionless.

Otoya wanted to reach out and hug her and never let go, but he was held back by Ren, whose eyes were as wide as everybody else's. "Haruka….is that really you?" Natsuki whispered, his eyes watering yet again. The emerald eyed idol let the tears flow out of his eyes as Haruka nodded aloofly.

"Hey." She greeted, her voice not as high pitched and adorable as before. This time, her voice was almost seductive and alluring, hypnotizing even. Everybody's knees turned into jelly as they heard her new voice. She walked in front of Otoya and smiled gently at him, letting him hug the life out of her. She felt his tears against her shoulder as he tightened his grip on her. She awkwardly hugged him back and patted him. "It's nice to see you, Otoya." She whispered in his ear, making his knees tremble. The red head almost fell on the floor but Haruka supported him.

"Nanami…." He mumbled in reply, burying his face in her chest. Tokiya tensed at his friend's action. That was the move that Tokiya used with Haruka when he was upset. She would whisper words into his ear that would calm him immediately. But he left her….for her best friend. And yet whenever Tokiya was upset, Tomo just gave him a comforting smile and a thumbs-up. Nothing else. "….Why?" he added, shaking his head against her collar bone.

"Why what?" she asked, faking the sweet tone. Luckily, nobody noticed her over controlled voice. Haruka smirked, _'This is the place where I will die today. And STARISH will be here to see it.' _She thought, mentally snickering. Then, Quartet Night walked in, oblivious to her presence. "Otoya, why what?" she repeated patiently waiting for his reply.

"Why are you so considerate?" he asked her, hugging her tighter. Haruka rubbed his back and leaned her forehead against his shoulder. "You could've just asked us to visit you." Haruka sighed loudly, her body moving against his.

"I can never stay mad at you guys." She whispered loud enough for the rest of the guys to hear. She smiled at the five boys behind her, giving Tokiya the warmest yet fakest grin. "I don't want to bother you from your busy schedule."

"What's with all the- Haruka?!" Reiji screamed, coming to a halt. Ai stood beside him and his cyan eyes widened when he saw the pinkette. "What are you doing here?" Reiji whispered to himself, knowing that Haruka wouldn't hear him. She was busy hugging and comforting Otoya, who received glares of jealousy from STARISH and Quartet Night. Even Camus gave the red head a warning glance. Ranmaru growled, which was heard by his fellow bandmates.

"How is that possible?" Ai asked himself, feeling a tear form in his eyes. The emotionless idol quickly wiped it away, avoiding eye contact in embarrassment. "We missed you." He mumbled, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. He could feel himself overheating but the Android ignored it, hoping to spend more time with their kouhai's composer. Ai didn't want to miss his chance with her.

He was _afraid _of her leaving him again.

Ranmaru and Camus stared at the supposed-to-be dead girl in front of them, their mouths open. "Otoya," Haruka started, getting no reply, "I'm here now." She said, pulling away from him. She pushed him gently by the shoulders and tried to make contact with his watery, fiery eyes. "I'm here." She repeated softly, smiling as they finally made eye contact.

Otoya sniffled as he nodded and walked away from her, letting everybody else have a chance to be with her. Natsuki immediately appeared in front of the composer and engulfed her into a bear hug. "I missed you so much! We're so sorry!" Natsuki screamed into her hair since he was the tallest among the idols. He sniffled loudly, hoping not to ruin her hair by getting some…..snot in it. "We're so so sorry, Haruka." He whispered, seriously. When Natsuki addresses you by your actual first name, he's dead serious. "I'm sorry I forgot about you."

Haruka winced when she heard him say that they forgot about her. "So you admit it…" she whispered to herself, unheard by everybody, even Natsuki. She sighed loudly in his chest and hugged him back. "Natsuki, it's alright." She lied, hoping he'd buy it. And he did. Natsuki sighed in relief as he tightened his grip around her tiny waist. "I'm alive." She mumbled in his chest, her voice muffled by his shirt.

"Please don't leave us again." Natsuki begged her. "Don't ever leave us again, promise?" he inquired, hoping for an answer. Haruka didn't answer. She couldn't. She couldn't make a promise she couldn't keep. When the violist didn't get a reply, he sobbed loudly. "You'll…..you'll leave us…"

Haruka didn't respond. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his broad form and held him tight. "I can't make a promise I can't keep." She said, gently pulling back. She pulled out of Natsuki's hug and smiled at him. "I'm sorry." She mouthed to him.

"Why are you sorry?" Ren suddenly asked, appearing next to Natsuki. The flirt harshly pushed the blond away and stood in front of her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking them. Haruka's eyes widened as Ren shook her.

"R-Ren!" she gasped, struggling against his firm hold on her shoulders.

"Ren! Stop it!" Masato scolded, immediately appearing next to him to try to pry his arms off of her fragile shoulders. "You're hurting her!" he roared, digging his nails into Ren's forearm and pulling him back. But Ren kicked him away.

"Let me talk to her." Ren's voice cracked as tears trickled down his cheeks. "Please," he begged, his bottom lip quivering, "Let me talk to her." Masato froze as he stared at his childhood friend in disbelief. The pianist nodded stiffly, backing off. Ren thanked him and ran up to Haruka, hugging her as if she'd disappear the next second. "Why?"

"I'm sorry," she only repeated as she leaned her forehead against his built chest. No tears escaped her eyes as she talked to them. No, she was strong. She was bold. She was going to die today. Nobody's going to stop her. No one. "I won't exist tomorrow." She announced, bluntly.

No one moved. No one said a word. "No…." Tokiya gasped, his eyes widening. He wanted to talk to her, but he couldn't move.

"…..what?" Ren breathed, opening his eyes. He stared down at her through his watery eyes and waited for her reply. He got none. Rather, Haruka pulled back and kisses his cheek, surprising him. When she pulled back, she smiled sadly at him and walked towards Syo and Masato. She kissed their cheeks and wrapped her slim arms around them.

"What do you mean?" Syo asked, staring into her dead eyes. Masato nodded eagerly beside him and waited for her answer. "What do you mean by that?!" Syo blurted, anger evident in his eyes. Syo was _glaring _at Haruka, and he didn't mean it. "Why are you leaving us again? Why? I thought you were going to stay with us forever! What happened to your promise? Huh?! What happ-"

"You're the one who left me!" Haruka yelled at him, pushing him back with all her might. Syo landed on the carpet with a 'thud'. "You guys were the ones who left me! You guys weren't there for me! I waited for you and you never came to me!" she finally cried. She thrashed her arms everywhere in anger as she tried to show them how angry she was. "What happened? You guys were supposed to be there for me, thick or thin! Why did you forget about me?!" she screeched, glaring into their eyes.

"Haruka…" they all started. "We're sorry-"

"No, I don't need your apologies. I'm _through_!" she interrupted, pushing past them into the living room. "I feel _betrayed_! Who forgets about their _composer_?!" she ranted on and on, pacing back and forth in the living room where the video was still displayed on the large TV. She paused, staring at the large television. "When did you get this?" she growled, her hands balling up into fists. STARISH and Tomo looked down, and started fiddling with their thumbs. "ANSWER ME!" she roared.

"T-today…" Tokiya mumbled. Haruka froze. She didn't expect that. She never thought it'd take them _that _long to discover that she went missing. "Look, I'm sor-"

Haruka screamed as loud as she could, smashing her fist into the TV. The television cracked and fell backwards, the expensive screen cracking. "It took _that _long for you guys to realize that I was _alive or dying_?!" she screeched, tears now streaming down her face. "I never knew…"

"Haruka, please listen." Tokiya tried again, slowly walking up to her. When they were face to face, Tokiya slowly pulled her into a warm hug. "Please don't leave us. I'm so so sorry." He cried, his tears plopping onto her hair. Haruka sniffled against his chest as she grasped his loose t-shirt. "I love you." He confessed, whispering the three words into her ear.

"No." she replied firmly, her soft side dissipating. She pushed him back and launched herself onto him. She pinned him down and glared down into his wide eyes. "I don't need that." She seethed, ready to punch the life out of him. When her fist was mere centimeters away from touching him, she abruptly paused. The room was silent as she sat on top of him. Suddenly, she chuckled humorlessly. "I hate you, Tokiya-kun." She softly scoffed, crawling off of him. "Why?"

"Why what?" he gently asked her, sitting up. He sat in front of her, crisscrossed. She stared at the floor, hiding her smirk behind her hair.

"Why do I have to be in love with you? This would be easier if I hadn't fallen in love with you…" she mumbled, sinking her head into her shoulders. She looked away, sighing. After a few minutes of silence, she got up and walked back to the front door, ignoring Tomochika.

"Wait!" Reiji called out to her, running after the girl. Haruka stood at the threshold and sighed, sharply turning to the brunet. Her yellow eyes stared into his soul as she waited for him to continue.

"What do you want?" she hissed, stabbing her palms with her sharp nails. "I'm a bit busy." She said through clenched teeth, loud enough so that her voice echoed in the forest.

"Don't leave!" Ai screamed out to her. The cyan haired idol ignored the weird stares from STARISH and continued to run after her. He stopped in front of her and patted her head gently. Haruka winced at the contact.

"Please." STARISH begged in unison, staring pleadingly into her eyes. "Don't go."

"It's for the best. You'll be happier." Haruka sighed, running a hand through her dull hair. "You need to move on. Find girlfriends. Replace me like you did before. Get married, start a family. Be happy without me. It's better." She smiled and waved, walking away.

"We're nothing without you." Ranmaru spoke up, crossing his arms over his chest. STARISH nodded in agreement, as did Camus, Reiji, Ai, and Tomochika.

"We aren't STARISH without you." Natsuki started, staring at her. She made eye contact with him, but she averted her eyes, fixating them on Ren.

"You're the sun of my life." Ren said. He received glares from everybody, and a cough from Masato. "Alright, alright, you're the sun of _our _life." He corrected, chuckling. He was trying to lighten up the atmosphere, but it only tensed.

"We don't want anybody else." Otoya added, smiling gently at her. "If you're dead, we're dead." Otoya scoffed. "We're useless without you."

"Yeah, right." Haruka crossed her arms and scoffed. "You guys better find someone that makes you happy and content."

"We did." Syo started. Haruka winced, "She's right here." Syo ran up to her and hugged her. "Don't leave us."

"We need you, Haruka." Masato said, hugging her.

"We love you, Haruka." Tokiya suddenly appeared. He kissed her full on the lips. Haruka tried to wriggle her way out of their arms, but Tokiya tightened his grip around her. Masato and Syo backed off, letting Tokiya do whatever he wanted with her.

"Let go." She hissed, pushing him back. "NAGI, GET THE D* KNIFE!" she screamed at a bush. Everybody's eyes widened as they tried to stop Haruka from dying. Tokiya held her tight, but she punched him in the side and screamed out, "FOR YOU, TOKIYA, MY LOVE!" she yelled as Nagi appeared out of the bush and stood next to her. The light haired boy twirled the knife between his fingers and pointed the tip at her side where her lung is located. Kira held Haruka by the waist and neck, digging his nails into her flesh. Haruka coughed out blood as Kira chocked her.

"HARUKA!" they all screamed, racing to her side. But Eiichi blocked them from reaching her and pushed them down.

"Stay back." Eiichi hissed, kicking their sides. "Any last words, Haruka?" he sweetly asked Haruka, who was about to die. Nagi finally stabbed her, and Haruka winced. Blood started to gush out of her side as she struggled to stay alive to say her last words.

"HARUKA!" they still called out, their voices cracking and tears streaming down their faces. "DON'T DIE, DON'T LEAVE US!"

"Bye bye, Haruka!" he sang, smiling. "You're welcome."

"I love you all. Move on. Be happy." Her eyes rolled back. "This is for you, my love." She choked out, her body falling limp.

Everybody stood still until Kira broke the silence. "We should probably tell them." All though the silent idol's voice was blunt, his voice was laced with sorrow. He dropped Haruka's body onto the grass and wiped his hands off. Nagi let go of the knife and skipped towards them.

"Haruka wanted us to kill her since she couldn't do it by herself." Nagi told them. "Are you guys happy?"

"No." they all sulked, burying their faces in their arms. "Why…?" they choked out. STARISH, especially Tokiya, sobbed loudly, not caring if their rival saw their weak side.

Eiichi sighed and shook his head disappointingly, "Why on Earth would Tokiya Ichinose break up with her? And why on _Earth _did you forget about her?" Eiichi scolded tauntingly as he walked away, Kira and Nagi following. "You guys literally encouraged her to commit suicide."

And so, HEAVENS left STARISH and Quartet Night to sob their lives away. "We…." Ren started.

"We're the ones…." Syo added, sniffling loudly.

"Who made her…." Otoya continued.

"Commit suicide." Masato finished. They all stood up and walked towards Nanami Haruka's dead body and Tokiya plucked the knife from her side. The large kitchen knife had blood all over and some bits of flesh from her body.

"Should we?" Tokiya sought approval from his bandmates. The rest of the members of STARISH nodded, as did Quartet Night. They turned to Tomo, who shook her head.

"Why not?! Haruka's dead and we're nothing without her!" Syo screamed out at the maroon haired girl.

"Sigh, she wants you to live. To love. Move on, boys. Just find another composer." Tomo sighed, walking into the building. When she was out of earshot, Quartet Night and STARISH looked into each other's eyes and nodded.

Tokiya tossed the knife to Reiji and jerked his chin to everybody else. "I'll be the last one to die." Tokiya declared. Reiji nodded as he walked up to Natsuki and stabbed him in the heart.

"Thanks." Natsuki whimpered, his soul leaving his body. Reiji nodded sadly and did the same to Syo, who mumbled the same word. Syo's fedora fell off his head and rolled towards the feet of Tokiya. The brunet stabbed Masato in the neck and Ren in the side, earning a 'thanks' and a 'thud' in response. Two bodies fell to the soil, blood oozing out of the four bodies. Tokiya winced as he watched his friends die. Well, at least they'll meet Haruka in Heaven. Hopefully, she'd forgive them.

Reiji slowly walked over to a sweating Otoya and dug the point into Otoya's stomach. "When Tokiya's done, we're following." Reiji smiled sadly as he thrust the knife deeper into Otoya's stomach. Otoya moaned in pain as he fell to his knees.

"Arigato, Reiji-san." Otoya groaned, his eyelids falling over his lifeless eyes. Reiji slowly walked towards Tokiya and sighed.

"Ready?" Reiji asked, grinning at the blunet.

"Yea." Tokiya whispered. Reiji jabbed the knife into Tokiya's heart and twisted the blade, hoping for an effective kill.

"That's what you get for hurting Haruka." He whispered into his kouhai's ear. Tokiya nodded in agreement as he breathed for the last time.

Finally, Tokiya could live with Haruka eternally.

XXX

Lol, sucky ending. Yes, sorry for that. It's like, eleven pm and my dad's gonna kill me if he finds out that I've been up this late.

Anywho, THANKS AND GOODBYE! PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT!

**If you want me to add ONE MORE CHAPTER, please review so. XD, I'm picky, sorry.**


	3. Special

Ehehe, I have NO IDEA how to continue this story. It's random and out of place. For those who wanted me to continue, I have failed you! DX, I have no idea how to do this so I'm just going to make it one of those weird epilogues.

It's in Heaven! XP, I don't know XD!

**For You, My Love**

**Two-Shot Special**

"Ready, Ran-Ran?" Reiji asked him, sadistically. He cackled, slithering towards the silver haired man. This is the new side to Reiji; immature, mature, and sadistic. The brunet placed the blade over Ranmaru's larynx and drew blood. "I am." He chuckled bitterly and pressed harder.

"Just kill me, Reiji," Ranmaru grunted, smiling at Reiji. Said man nodded. "See you, buddy." Ranmaru groaned as Reiji stabbed his throat until the tip of the blade was visible from the back of his neck. Blood gushed out from the deep wound, staining the grass and Reiji's shirt. Reiji dropped Ranmaru's limp body on top of Ren and Masato's bodies, since they were all dorm mates.

"So much….blood." Camus whispered, counting the dead bodies in front of him. Otoya and Tokiya were dead, lying next to each other. Masato, Ren, and Ranmaru were piled on top of each other while Syo and Natsuki were next to each other. All of them had a hole somewhere on their body.

"Who's next?" Reiji smirked, twirling the knife in the air. Ai shook his head, tears trickling down his cheeks. The cyan haired android was overheating due to the amount of stress. For the first time in his life, he deeply cared for someone. And now that person died. The one he deeply cared for died; Nanami Haruka.

"I can commit suicide." Ai suggested, shrugging his shoulders. Camus gave him a questioning look. "I'll just rip out my wires." Ai lifted the back of his shirt to reveal a screw drilled into his back. He unscrewed his back **(NASTY) **and picked at his wires. Then, he started ripping them out. "See you guys. I don't have a soul, though I want one." Ai sighed as he started to malfunction and rust. "Bye." Ai slowly left the world. He fell to the ground with a heavy thud while his arms and legs detached itself from his torso.

Camus and Reiji continued to stare at his body.

"….Well, Myu-chan, should I kill you or do you want to commit suicide?" Reiji asked him, suddenly appearing behind the cold idol.

"Just kill me, you peasant." Camus snapped at his band mate, letting the sadistic brunet take control. Reiji shrugged and stabbed him from behind, twisting the blade. He specifically stabbed his stomach, twisting and plunging the knife deeper into his organ. "See you later, Reiji." Camus smiled at Reiji, his soul leaving his body. Reiji nodded and withdrew the knife, pushing Camus to the ground.

"Bye, world!" Reiji screamed at the sky. He smiled and waved at the cloudy sky, hoping that his kouhai's would be able to see him from above. Reiji nodded to himself, tears rolling down his cheeks. First, he stared at the blade and then wiped the blood of 8 people off the blade. "Hopefully, I'll get to see Aine in heaven, too." Reiji whispered, digging the knife into his heart. The thick, crimson liquid poured out from his mouth, the liquid choking the brunet. Reiji coughed blood, and died.

XXX

STARISH, Reiji, Ranmaru, and Camus opened their eyes to meet white. All of them were lying on their backs, facing the white sky. But when someone moved, everybody else sensed each other's presence. They saw each other, and smiled. "Hey, we made it." Syo pointed out, shrugging.

"Yeah…" Masato mumbled, staring at his feet. They were all wearing what they wore back on Earth. There were no blood stains or holes in their shirts. Everything was normal.

"Ai didn't make it." Reiji whispered. Everybody turned to him and cocked their heads to the right.

"Why not **(Wynaut, hehe)**?" Natsuki asked, his voice cracking. "Why didn't Ai-senpai make it? Why isn't he here?"

Camus sighed and turned to Ranmaru and Reiji, "We should tell them."

Ranmaru nodded, "He's a robot. He doesn't have a soul." Ranmaru answered their question, sighing loudly.

"Oh…" everybody replied awkwardly.

The awkward silence was broken when another voice started.

"Why are you guys here?" a melodic voice asked them. Suddenly, the scenery changed from a white room into an open field where the long, wild grass swished with the wind. Haruka stood in the distance with a small frown on her face. "Why are you guys here?" she repeated.

"We…." Ren started, staring at her. The flirt refused to cry since he wanted to keep his cool, but inside, his walls were collapsing. His cold heart was melting.

"We couldn't live without you…" Otoya started to cry when he saw her alive and healthy. He sobbed loudly, dropping onto his knees.

"So we decided to follow you." Masato added, kneeling next to the red head. "Please, let us live with you eternally."

"Because we're miserable without you." Tokiya whispered, staring at his feet guiltily. Haruka sighed loudly and walked slowly towards them.

"Minna-san, I wanted you guys to move on," she whispered softly. "I wanted you guys to keep living. You were supposed to forget about me and find another woman to love." She approached Tokiya and cupped his jaw. "You were supposed to be happy without me." She stared into his watery eyes and smiled.

"That's not possible." Ranmaru scoffed, answering for Tokiya as he crossed his arms.

"Don't you know that we care for you, too?" Reiji inquired, watching her. Haruka turned to him and smiled. Behind her, Tokiya glared at Reiji for ruining their moment. Reiji winked and gave him the 'peace' sign. Typical Asian XD.

"Thanks everyone, I'm sorry for acting like a jerk." She apologized, bowing. Her hair created a curtain in front of her face, so she didn't have to look in anybody's eyes.

"No!" Syo scolded, forcing her to stand straight. "You acted exactly how you're supposed to act. It's our fault. We forgot about you, used you, and treated you like trash. We're so sorry." Syo pulled her into a hug ran his hand through her hair. The short blond felt moisture on his shirt and inhaled her scent. "It's okay, cry all you want." He urged her, rubbing her back.

"I forgive you all." She sniffled before continuing, "I c-can't stay mad…I love you all so much. I-I'm sorry!" she sobbed into Syo's shirt. She grabbed the front of his shirt and sobbed into it. "I was so selfish!"

"No you weren't, Haruka." Natsuki corrected, "We are so so sorry for forgetting about you. Don't feel bad. At least we're here now." He comforted.

"It's normal for someone to react that way. We're terrible idols." Ren interjected, hugging her from behind. She fell to her knees, dragging Syo and Ren with her.

"Please don't say that." She whispered, burying her face into Syo's shirt. "You guys are amazing idols. You all sing beautifully." She complimented.

She sniffled, letting go of Syo. She then hugged Ren, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Smile." Otoya suggested. "You look beautiful when you smile."

Haruka giggled, letting Ren wipe away her tears with his thumb. "Arigato, minna-san." She whispered against Ren's chest. She pulled back and hugged everybody, even Ranmaru. When she approached Tokiya, she tiptoed and kissed him. "Gomenasai, Tokiya-kun." She mumbled, pulling back. She wrapped her arms around his broad frame and pulled him in for a hug.

"No, I'm so sorry, Haruka. I wasn't thinking straight." He said, responding to the embrace. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Haruka giggled, pulling away. She turned to everyone and smiled, "Well, welcome to Heaven." She gestured to the wide field, which immediately changed into a city of gold. Angels flew above their heads, strumming their harps. Children ran past them, laughing to their hearts' content. And lions and lambs napped together under the love and warmth of the creator of all things; God.

"Sugoi!" Syo gasped, standing up to his feet and turning around. "This place is awesome!"

Haruka nodded, holding Tokiya's hand and intertwining their fingers. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed in contentment, "Yea and you get to do whatever you want as long as it follows the rules."

Tokiya smirked, swinging their arms back and forth. "Anything?" he questioned.

Haruka rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Tokiya-kun. Just have fun." She giggled, watching as Natsuki chased Syo. Ren and Masato shook their heads and walked off, probably heading to the dining area to prepare dinner. Otoya walked towards the lions and hesitantly petted their manes, afraid of getting bitten.

"I don't think the lions bite, Otoya!" Reiji chuckled, following the red head.

"B-but, I'm scared!" Otoya cried, hiding behind his senpai. Camus and Ranmaru smiled, taking a stroll on the golden sidewalk, enjoying the view.

"Aishiteru, Koiishi." Tokiya mumbled into her hair, hugging her from behind.

"Aishiteru, Anata." She hummed back, leaning her head against his chest. They both sighed in contentment as they stood in each other's embrace.

Doves and Angels flew together, lions and lambs played together, and everybody laughed together. It was perfect in Heaven. Well, what do you expect? Heaven _is _perfect.

XXX

THE END


	4. Special 2

**For You, My Love**

**Special-Drabble**

Tomochika hummed as she skipped down the halls of the Master Course, a bit depressed that her best friend had died earlier that day. But still, Tomochika knew that Haruka would want her to be happy. So she decided to go outside and have some fresh air.

"La la la laaaa~!" Tomo sang, opening the front doors. She breathed in; the air smelled funky, but she thought that it was her imagination. "Woohoo-_ woah_!" she tripped, falling face flat into the drenched grass. "Oomph!" she grumbled, pushing herself up. "Why is the grass so wet? It's the middle of the day…" she pondered, her eyes adjusting to the brightness.

When her vision finally cleared up, she nearly screamed. Surrounding her were 13 corpses, puddles of blood everywhere, and a knife lodged into Reiji's body. She looked at her hands and found that the grass was wet with fresh blood, the crimson liquid staining her hands.

"….What just happened here…?" she whispered, surprised to see all her guy friends and best friend dead. She stood up and did a 360, looking in all directions to see if there was anybody else alive.

"You're the killer?" someone behind her asked, their cold breath sending shivers down her spine.

Tomochika turned around, spotting a tall man wearing all black and a mask that covered his whole face. Her magenta eyes dilated as the man pulled up a knife, threatening to kill her on the spot.

"N-no!" she argued, but it seems that she was too late. The blade was coming full speed at her, so she closed her eyes and waited for pain to spread all over her body.

"That's good~!" a familiar voice responded. She cautiously opened her eyes, one popping open while the other remained closed. There stood Ringo wearing all black, his curly locks chopped off and replaced with a short hair cut. The knife was an inch away from her nose, the blade shining in the sunlight.

"R-RINGO?!"

"Ohayo puu~!" he replied, winking.

XXX

Just to let you know, I do not support murder/homicide/suicide, I just felt like writing an angst/murder scene. T^T I'm sorry for forgetting to mention that there was going to be a character death and that I do not support any kind of murder/whatever DX

This is a special chapter :3 No reviews required, I felt like posting this for fun.


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